Trust me. We know the mix feelings well. Like the stages of grieving, as a parent realizing your underaged child have seen porn may combine the stages of denial and anger, as well as feeling shocked and embarrassed. Here are some tips in hopes of helping parents to reach the stage of acceptance, and move forward to your productive To-do-list soon with a positive attitude.
Ask questions but not questioning
Your kid probably feels embarrassed enough with you catching them watch porn, so state it gently and clearly that any questions are welcome at the spot, and allow both of you to raise follow up questions. If you question them instead of offering to answer questions, it’s likely they will turn to porn sites or friends for more potentially false information.
Be curious about your kid’s curiosity
The more mysterious sex is labelled as, the more curious your kid will become in finding answers by themselves, mostly by few clicks on their smartphones and may end up on porn sites again for quick but probably misleading information. Ask what they've watched and how they felt about it, be understandable that it's normal to eel curious.
Candid talk works better
Don’t turn a blind eye to the good side of sex too. Being honest and be vulnerable that we are all sexual human beings and it is absolutely normal to feel aroused starting at certain age. Say if you suspect your kid masturbating, it could be a good opportunity to bring up the conversation of adult content as well (watch how <Sex Education> did it!). Yes, regardless whether your kid has already been exposed to porn or not, because someday they will find out in their own ways sooner or later.
Discuss but not demand
If you catch your kids in the act, give yourself time to calm down and digest, be prepared for what to say to your kid or discuss with your spouse whenever possible. For older teenagers, let them know it is illegal to view or share pornography as a minor which leads to consequences like legal ramifications. Offer alternatives like proper sex education and opened discussion instead of just demanding them to stop.
Sources:
https://www.netnanny.com/blog/my-child-saw-pornography-what-should-i-do/
https://www.netnanny.com/blog/the-detrimental-effects-of-pornography-on-small-children/
Credits:
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